America, F**k Yeah

Feliz Cumpleaños, America! you've come a long way, baby. from Puritans to Melting Pots to Mixed Salads. today we celebrate 231 years of freedom to be who we are, say what we want, go where we please, create multi-cultural families, rack up endless debt; we can even come from other countries and exploit these freedoms to hate on the very land that has given us the freedom to exploit and hate! just imagine what we'll have accomplished in another 231 years... (if we're still around).

Remember when the 4th of July was all about face paint, picnic blankets, fried chicken and fireworks? ah, the carefree days of rainbows, puppies and cabbage patch kids. here i am with a heart-shaped locket, a fistful of dandelions and my mom's best seventies 'fro. i was a bicentennial baby. 2 centuries + me = america's age.

these days it seems the fourth is all about wondering when the neighborhood kids are going to finally run out of shit to blow up. and pathetically chuckling at the poor morons who help make this holiday the busiest night in the ER. am i missing something?

...maybe this is what america's birthday is SUPPOSED to be all about! dagnabit, how come it took me so long?? i tell you what-- i'm agonna take my cuz'n and head on down to Big Daddy's in the Kentuck and get me sum Junior Pyro and Redneck Party Packs (don't forget the hot-n-spicy pork rinds and a couple cases of icehouse).


let's go blow some shit up!

CLICK TO HEAR America, F**k Yeah! BY TEAM AMERICA